Christmas, without you.

Alright, Christmas is over.
Nothing special about this year christmas.
No boyf.. Laughs, i sound L.O.L .
I am not okay ! Even thought i am in the L.O.L group. HAHAHA
I am waiting for new year eveeeeeeeeeeee ! Again, no boyf . Haha, whatever.
Christmas eve was way too boring. At home watching dramas and movie.
Only at night went out to have dinner with family excluding my sister.
Christmas.. Worked from 9am to 3pm. Then went out with Chewming to bugis to shop for her siblings' presents. But sad to say i spent money, AGAIN !
As for dinner.. Wanted to go to east coast to have steamboat but the transport were crazy. NO choice but went to hawker centre to have dinner. While looking for seats, met a man who is selling tissue packs. Wanted to help him, but his attitude was ________. Another adult told us not to buy from him. After picking up a call, i hint Chewming to walk away. Kinda of sucky isn;t it ? ._.
Wanted to have chicken rice but it's all sold out ! So i trying Chicken congee, couldn't finish the congee :X
After dinner, walked to Little India and trained to Clarke Quay to enjoy some fresh air :D Once again, walked over to Fort canning park at around 9pm. Went up two flock of stairs and we stopped. It's way to errie to go in at such timing ~_~
Walked underpass and go over to Suntec, again we were laughing about Kumar's jokes. & Chewming claimed that she brought a doll out and Kumar ~ lalala, whatever it is.
Laughs. Then trained back to Sengkeng. Okay, i getting bored of typing non-stop.
Shall type something about love :D ( since chewming says i am improving, lmao )

I told chewming about it and she told me " Ren bu ke mao xiang "
Well, till now i don't if this is the truth but somehow things are too coincidental.
It's hard trust though i believe you wouldn't but ........
Sigh, i don't know. Kinda of tough, but yet i am relieve.
Though there's still love and misses, but things are getting better. SO that's a good news, isn't it ? :D
& soon school life will be back. I am gonna be stress out by homeworks and courseworks. I guess stress could help to ease the pain, HAHAHA.
Alright, i am being cool right now.
Hmm, i tired of typing .
Bye readers (:

Whenever i look at it, my heart aches.

Boohoooooooo !~
Aliens in the attic was great :D
A pity i didn't get to watch in the cinema :S
Hmm, past two days have been going out.
Monday, pool session with Chewming, ALicia and Jeanin !
Supposingly we are going to Novena but i miss Tpy colleages !
So Chewming and I dropped by to see them !
Alright, Edmond was greatttttttttt :D
Didn't get to to Eimond..
Amanda is on leave .
Um hmm.. And i Peishan and Elisa were there ! But there are busy working..
After that, went to have dinner at one of the coffee shop.
Met Mich and Raine at Tpy station and trained back to Sengkeng.
On the while, saw Kelvin !
So went home with him since he was going the same way as me (:
Home sweet home :D

Yesterday, had Mac breadfast in the morning.
Went back to school to collect our book list and check the posting of classes.
I am glad to say that 5N1'10 ^^
Went home to bathe and changed and went out..
Again, played pool with many people. Laughs.
Had dinner at Houngang.
Mich and I trained to Bugis to shop.
Alright, both of us managed to control and resist temptation of buying clothes.
Since school is starting, everyday we will be wearing uniform unlike people from Poly.. Haha, nevermind. Next year will be my turn ! :D

Today ! Didn't go out with Chewming and Alicia :S
I was staying at home to catch my dramas and movies :D
So after dinner, The Vampire Diariessssssssssssssssssssss <3s ^^
Byeeeee peeps :D
P.s Today's post is not about love, great job ! :D

Title : A failing love is like desperately hanging on to something precious; not wanting to give up, but your hands feel the pain. And, when you finally let go, you're free from any pain, but your hands are empty.

Alright, i am utterly disappointed in my results.
I could have get a better grades for my Additional math and English.
So pissed by the grades i got for this two subjects ._.
Forget about it, Zhi qing stop moaning like a old lady ._.
With this lousy grades, i am sure i will be motivated to study hard for Secondary five (:
Smile :D
Oh ya, Christmas is arriving in six days time. YAY !
I made a pact with God. I am gonna celebrate Christmas with happiness and not sorrows ^^ & I promised i will celebrate with my friendsssssssss :D
Shall stop thinking about love, Haikal's motto . Hees ^^
Ya, this guy here also have to get out from love. Just like me ! Laughs.
The sad thing is holiday is also ending :(
The stressing life of a O level student is arriving ! GODDDD !~

Anyway, today's post is a happy one.
Decided not not post the unhappy stuffs ^^
Oh ya, just now went to have dinner at chomp chomp with Girlf and Ahma.
Had a great time , we ate alot :X
It has been ages since i had i great laugh !
Oh ya, i nearly forgot to post about Jarrod ! Since he won't see this so, i could whatever things i want :D
Yaaaaa, he's another ___________. ( Girlf, you know the blank right? :D )
Alright humans, gonna turn in soon !
Byeee :D

Tonight, there won't be love but hatred.

If what i guessed was true, you are so gonna be dead.
I will hate you like nobody business.
& YOU GONNA BE BLACKLISTED UNDER FRIEND LIST.
Even thought i don't know if i can be so cruel ._.
Whatever it is. If it's true, you are A BIG FAT LIAR AND THE BIGGEST SHIT I KNOW !
If it's true, i am gonna say " Goodbye to you, my friend " ._.
If there's full of hatred, i will be able to say goodbye to you WILLINGLY.
I am hurt but i am not crying because i am too pissed to be crying ._.

Enough of YOU.
I got my basic pay today ! :D
Yayyyyyyyyyyy ^^ But i haven't get the money because it need to days to get the cash in my bank :D Sigh :(
Met Shanwn at Henca.
After that went to mos burger, sit down and talk for long hours :D
Went off at around seven plus.
Reached home nearly nice .
Watch my drama ^^
Alright, enough of my boring stories.
Shall end here and get my sleeppppppppp before my face condition get worst

I felt so sorry that i missed two bbq events :X
Kinda lazy to go :S

Another arrow just pierced through my heart.

I am feeling so horrible right now. I feel like a total shit. I couldn't do my best to cheer you up. It upsets me. Without realising, you have hurt me again. I'm sorry that i have became so weak and my mood was easily triggered by small stuffs. I treat it as important as my national exams. But i guess you don't even bother if you have hurt me.. Because it doesn't mean anything to you. But it meant the whole world to me. Trying my best to make you happy and divert your unhappiness. In the end, i received your message saying it's okay, i have found the person to help me. My heart shattered. I feel like i'm dying. I'm lacking of air. It hurts so much that i am hating myself for being such a useless friend. I couldn't help but start blaming myself and not you. At first i was on cloud nine when i received your message. I'm suprise that you text me asking me if i can be there for you... I thought i could help but in the end, I didn't .

A broken heart is a heart that has felt love.

Woah, have been going out this few days.
Pool with Alicia, Haikal, Jeanin and Cindy. Others were around, Mich's co and Gerlad's co.
Lunch Buffet at Sakae Sushi with Aunt.
I admit, i ate alot :X
But this made it more worthwhile right? ^^ hees.
Watched Case 39 with Girlf, Shawn and Jiarui.
Watched Planet 51 with R.y . Nice movie.
Swimming with Chewming and siblings.

I guess that was last movie outing with him.
Things had changed. Amazingly, i have not adapt to it, to the friends situation.
I guess i have been hallucinating too much. I thought i could i change it easiy, but who knows i am still a coward ._.
It makes me even more upset when going through it with my clear mind, knowing what's going to happen next.
Feelings changed.
I can no longer hold your hands openly.
I can no longer hold on to your arms like i always did.
I can no longer hold on to your hands whenever we were crossing the roads.
I can no longer hug you like i always did.
I can no longer say iloveyou as your girlf.
I can no longer go out with you as your girlf.
I can no longer treasure you as your girlf.
I can no longer be in your embrace, trying to give me warmth whenever i am cold.
I can no longer lean or rely on you.
I can no longer feel the love from you.
I can no longer get the warm from you.
I can no longer ...
There's too much things i want to say. I guess some things are better to left unsaid.
I miss everything that regards to you.
Be it a tiny little thing could reminds me everything.
I thank god for giving me five hours just to be with you.
Though i miss being your girlf but i guess it's time for me to put a full stop to this story. Yes, it is hurtful. I am suffering but i know things won't be the same.
In that five hour, i tried my best to let go but i failed. The moment you lent me your hands trying to give me some warmth. My heart melts . Especially the part when you place your hand on mine. You started teasing me when you felt that my hands were icy cold. You joked that i was eating ice popsicle. I couldn't resist but to lay my head on your shoulders. Even though the feeling wasn't the same but at that moment, i felt that i have done happiest thing that i have ever do. Though you didn't hug me back or grab my hand tightly but i am contented. That's more then enough. I won't be greedy. I will bury all those memories deep down my heart. I managed to open my heart and hugged you when you were leaving. All i could say was Goodbye. Deep down my heart, it was bleeding but i kept a strong front.
It's time for me to move on and stop living in the past.
I thank god for giving me this opportuniny knowing you and being your girlf.
I thank god for giving me so much memories.
Goodbye and once again
Iloveyou.

I am sorry for this emotional post. It's something which means alot to me.

True love is like a pair of socks: you gotta have two and they've gotta match.

A pity, i lost one of it.

4N1 Chatlet went on smoothly !
Enjoyable yet tiring ~_~
Didn't get to sleep well for the first night.
But second night, we slept soundly ^^
I dk if i am dreaming, that's why i slept for fully six hours ^^
The second day was fun :D
Bbq at night, though the food wasn't enough but it was fun.
Sad thing is, i didn't eat well on that night :(
Haha, forget it.
After sleeping for 4 hours after i reached i home. I am still feeling tired :(
Shall turn in early ^^
Aye, i foget what i want to post ._.
Bye humans :DD

A heart breaking isn't as loud as a bombexploding. Sometimes it can be as quiet as feather falling&th most painful thing is, no one hears it, except u

Wow, i'm officially sixteen :D One more year to be seventeen. Laughs. That's a long way to go. Yesterday, went out with school friends to celebrate my birthday. Thanks for the outing and wonderful timing. And that delicious cake which Alan always claim that is the cake he choose. Haha. I am fortunate to taste three different birthday cake. I made the same birthday wish :) Let's hope it will come true ^^ Thank god for giving me such great friends and a great birthday :D Alright, pictures will be upload soon in facebook . Gonna turn in early, there's work tmr :( But luckily girlf is working with me :D Bye humans <3

.

Today's title : I could fill a thousand pages telling you how I felt and still you would not understand. So now I leave without a sound, except that of my heart shattering as it hits the ground.
Laughs, i am back :D
It's finally December ! :D
ALright, let's start from last week.
Went to to work at Tpy, great time.
Friday, met a new friend helping out at tpy outlet (;
Friendly person, thanks to him. Time passed quicky when he is around.
He only helped out till Sunday and Sunday was also my last day working at Tpy :(
After break, went to brought some cakes from Polar to give it them
Edmund was nice. He said " Why buy cakes for us? "
I replied : " Today is my last day so just treat you all "
Edmund says : " So like that, you not coming back to visit us or go out with us la? "
I replied : " No ! I will come back and look for you all "
Edmund just laugh at me.
Haha. Ya, i met lots of great people at Tpy outlet.
Especially Edmund. The one that talked to me, the full conversaion.
He is also the one who cheer me up, giving me advice.
& Amamda, always saying that i am pathetic cause Eimond disturbed me.
Haha, ya and Peishan and Elisa :D
Will definetly miss working with them :(

Yesterday, went for Henca's meeting.
Was so happy that I received compliment from Brendan but a pity i am quitting :X
Many new staffs came in to replace the old staffs .
AFter meeting, lunched at Subways. Got free cookies. Shawn, Amanda and Gershon was hilarous when they are in the Subway. Laughs. Gonna miss the outing on every monday.
We went to Vivo city after lunch. Met Jiarui and went there together.
We also went for movie, watched GoKusen. A pity, we could not watch Case 39. Damn Gv manager ._. Sorry guys :X Felt so pissed off by that manager ._.
After movie, went out of Vivo city to have some fresh air. Raine and Mich came to meet us :D
All of us went to Harbofront centre to have out dinner. On the way, saw Kelvin !
Went back to vivo to the third floor. Many memories kept flashing through my mind :S
&&& BIG THANKYOU TO SHAWN, JIARUI, AMANDA, GERSHON, KENNETH, ALICIA, MICHAELA AND LARAINE. Even though the girls are acting , but i managed to guess what was it going to happen. Laughs.
& Jiarui was the one who made a prank on me. My first birthday prank in my life.
He smashed my face into the wonderful cake. Haha, bu i managed to get my revenge.
He is so so funny when i put some water on his face. Many people start saying " omg, this water is dirty, many people urine and stuffs and it contain cholrine "
SO he was " freaked out " and asked my to give my him my facail wipes :D
Laughs, memorable day with Henca staffs :D
It was sweet of them to help me celebrate, despite we only know of weeks :D
Great people :D
Today ! Went out with Mich aunt to town. Went to find Shawn at Ion (;
He was surprise to see us. Laughs. & Get well soon (:
Went to Far east to get my eyelash clip and Mich went to buy her mom's clip.
Her mommy is veyr cool ! :D
AFter hunting, something cool attract our attention :D
After much considerations, we went in to....
To have colored hair extensions :D
& Thanks aunt for the hair extensions :DDDD
Accompained her for dinner but i didn't eat. Mommy is waiting for me to finish her Sushi ^^
Walked to The cathay to get Aunt's application form (:
Then walked to Plaza sing, look for my lip gloss. BUT it's out of stocks X_X
Before prom, i can't get it due to out of stocks.
After prom, i can't get it due to out of stocks. Omg.
No choice so we trained back to Sengkeng. Met Chewming to pass her the clip and she brought me home using her bicycle :D Thanks :D
Enjoyable day :D

In between the days, i didn't blog but there's some phrases that are meaningful (:
"Don't ever give up if you still want to try, don't ever wipe your tears if you still want to cry. Don't ever settle for an answer if you still want to know. Don't ever say you don't love him if you can't let him go."

"Sometimes we tend to be in despair when the person we love leaves us, but the truth is, it's not our loss, but theirs, for they left the only person who wouldn't give up on them."

"Some people say the worst way to miss someone is when they are right next to you and you know you can't have them, but it's worse when you thought you didn't want them anymore and then all of a sudden you realize you can't live without them."

I'm trying.