Another arrow just pierced through my heart.

I am feeling so horrible right now. I feel like a total shit. I couldn't do my best to cheer you up. It upsets me. Without realising, you have hurt me again. I'm sorry that i have became so weak and my mood was easily triggered by small stuffs. I treat it as important as my national exams. But i guess you don't even bother if you have hurt me.. Because it doesn't mean anything to you. But it meant the whole world to me. Trying my best to make you happy and divert your unhappiness. In the end, i received your message saying it's okay, i have found the person to help me. My heart shattered. I feel like i'm dying. I'm lacking of air. It hurts so much that i am hating myself for being such a useless friend. I couldn't help but start blaming myself and not you. At first i was on cloud nine when i received your message. I'm suprise that you text me asking me if i can be there for you... I thought i could help but in the end, I didn't .